October 06, 2015

Højskolen Cronicles #2

Today I want to talk about the language barrier. And respect of others.

First I would like to specify that I speak fluently 3 languages. I am re-learning (or improving, depending how you look at it - I think I pretty much suck at it) German, and I have finally picked up French and I started a beginner course. I wanted to learn French for so long, 4 years I think. But back home I didn't where to start, and in Edinburgh well, I didn't really have time to pick up a language course on top of my job and academic pursuits. So, here I am, finally making my dream come true and learning French. 

September 28, 2015

Højskolen Cronicles #1

For the love of god, will I ever find a place where I feel good myself and everything else? I suppose not. Which I swear is becoming some kind of freaking tradition. I am not happy about this. So I moved to Sicily to have the adventure of my life and became depressed instead. I moved to London for the fun and adventure of it.. and I felt lonely there. I moved to Edinburgh to search for a job and save money for my Masters and afterwards start my Masters and I felt.. not sure I can fit it all in one word, but lets go with tired. And miserable. And out of place. And I hated it. Then I got this idea to move to Denmark to do a »boarding school« for 4 months. Sweet god, have I not thought this through at all?! Apparently not.

At the beginning it was fun. The first week was cool and everyone was so nice and all was lovely. Three weeks in.. I am going mad.

September 13, 2015

Everything you and I could have been if we weren't you and I by Albert Espinosa Review

Everything you and I could have been if we weren't you and I
by Albert Espinosa
Published on July 2nd 2015
Penguin Random House Grupo Editorial, 205 pages

Can you imagine a future where everyone has given up sleeping?

What if I could reveal your secrets with just a glance? And what if I could feel with your heart just by looking at you? And what if--in a single moment--I could know that we were made for each other? Marcos has just lost his mother, a famous dancer who taught him everything, and he decides that his world can never be the same without her. Just as he is about to make a radical change, a phone call turns his world upside down.

Albert Espinosa has a peculiar talent for generating immediate congeniality around him, for shifting people's moods toward the positive and for reconciling them with themselves and the world, when needed. 

- Goodreads.com description

Thank you Netgalley and the publisher for the ARC.

"Don't get lost, Marcos, the world's limits are 
where you decide they are."

Well, I must say that the description of the book caught me, sucked me in. It sounded intriguing. But damn, I never could have possibly imagine that this book would be about - what it is about. This book is simple and very compley at the same time. And the writing style - I loved it. And like the Alchemist, this book isn't about the story so much, as it is for the message it conveys. 

September 03, 2015

We are never ever ever getting back together

Farewell Edinburgh. Farewell.

This is unbelievable. I cannot believe this journey has finally reached the end line. And today, I crossed it. It's done.

It has been almost 3 years since I left home form my quest to study at the University of Edinbugh. 3 weeks ago I handed in my Masters thesis. Still feels surreal sometimes, when I think of it. I did it.

And now I am leaving Edinburgh behind. You'd think I'd be so happy I could fly, to be able to finally leave, but I am not sure I feel this way. I am happy that is over, but I think I will need some time to adjust that this is over.

I was in such state of panic today. Proper blow out panic. A lot of things happened in the last month and I tried hard to stay organized, but doh. I managed though, somehow.

So many things left behind, and I don't know. I will miss my friends and Uni. The parties too. Not the work though. I will miss it all.

They were anouncing that we were about to land in Copenhagen, when it suddenly hit me »I am never coming back to Edinburgh to stay«, I will only go on holidays. After Denmark is over I am not going back to Edinburgh. I am not going back. The realisation was startling – where will I go? Which is a little ridiculous I know, but hell, I wondered.. if I am not going back, where will I go? And what on earth am I doing in Denmark? This is the eastest Europe I have ever been, and I know that people are nice if you need help they will help you, but holy hell I am in Copenhagen and I have never been here and I have no idea where to go.
I did however looked the people around me and OMG, they are all blond with blue eyes. And beautiful, so beautiful. This country will be good for me I think.

I am sitting on a train now, on my way to the other side of the country where my course it. I managed to get till here. Last step in few hours. My friend Sylwia, who kindly took me to the airport, otherwise I would have really freaked out, said that I shouldn't worry cause »You are Nea and you are like a cat – no matter what you always land on all four«. And I suppose it's true. But hell I was freaking out nonetheless. I forgot how nervous and panicked travel arrangements make me. And then I sit on the plane I breathe in and out and I am ok again. All that stress for nothing. Ridiculous, but I never seem to learn.

And note to my future self: Never ever again travel with all this laugage. We can ship it and other people will carry this shit for you. Everthing hurts.

And another thing hit me when I was on the metro from the airport – people around me will not speak English anymore. They are gonna speak Dannish. I love being in an English speaking country, what the fuck.. Ok, I think it's time to realise I might be slightly freaking out again. But hey, I am on the right train, with all my belongings, and with functional brain. I shall be fine.

As for you Edinburgh – you were the scariest, hardest, most crazy place for me. But I have learnt a lot from you. I even think I might have grown up. I have learnt my lessons, and hard work. You made me a stronger person. Even a little more judgemental, haha. But I am glad we are over.

Moving on is never easy. Today it feels especially difficult. But an end of something means the beginning of something else. And in Edinburgh they thought me that new isn't scary, new is exciting!

Now, I am looking forward to my new adventure.
Until next time,

August 16, 2015

This is the part when I break free, cause I can't resist it no more

Pic found here.

On Thursday, 13th of August, I submitted my master's dissertation. It's been a very stressful past couple of months, I must say. The past couple of weeks were especially stressful, for me and for everyone around me. 

I want to take a moment here to thank everyone who stood by me and supported me in the past couple of years. I would have never made it if it wasn't for you. Thank you.

I am sure I will write in more details about my study in a few months here on my blog, but for now I just don't want to think about it anymore. To summarize it in plain words, I wanted to research if society today was as fucked as I thought it was, and the answer is yes. Research proved it. More details to come in the foreseeable future. 

That aside.. it's over. It's done. I still can't quite believe it. True, I still have nightmares about my thesis, and when I wake up my first thought is "is it really over?" It is. It's been a long 2 years and I put into this everything that I had. 

Everytime, when things got hard I told myself "just a little bit more", but that little bit was never little and always so far away. 

Everytime, when things got hard I told myself "just a little bit more", but that little bit was never little and always so far away. So the day before my handing-in I thought "just a little bit more" and it suddenly hit me that, holy shit, this was a little, and sure as hell it was about to be over. The feeling was surreal. All the blood, and sweat, and stress, and anxiety, and counselling sessions, and long hours shifts, and forcing myself to Uni and study after a long shift, forcing myself to be strong, and breaking down in the next moment, and all the bloody hard days were over. This was it. I made it to the finish line. 

I dreamt about this moment for 3 years. All those things lead me to this moment. The moment where all that pain, and stress, and hardwork, and persistence was over and it lead me right here. All that shit was worth it. I did it! ..But never, ever again. 

And now it's done. The only thing left is to hope for the best. I've done everything that I could, and I gave all that I had. Fingers crossed that it was enough. Please, let it be enough. 

It's been a long journey and I am glad is over.

I am ready for new adventures to come. 

July 21, 2015

Sweet Filthy Boy by Christina Lauren Review

Sweet Filthy Boy
Wild Seasons #1
by Christina Lauren
Published on May 13th 2014
Gallery Books, 416 pages

One-night stands are supposed to be with someone convenient, or wickedly persuasive, or regrettable. They aren’t supposed to be with someone like him.

But after a crazy Vegas weekend celebrating her college graduation—and terrified of the future path she knows is a cop-out—Mia Holland makes the wildest decision of her life: follow Ansel Guillaume—her sweet, filthy fling—to France for the summer and just…play.

When feelings begin to develop behind the provocative roles they take on, and their temporary masquerade adventures begin to feel real, Mia will have to decide if she belongs in the life she left because it was all wrong, or in the strange new one that seems worlds away.

- Goodreads.com description
“What we know is the unrequited possibility, the temptation of the idea.
 The make-believe. The adventure. But when you choose the adventure, 
it becomes real life.”

I am just gonna throw it out there. This book is one of the best contemporary new adult romances I've read this year. Ok, scratch that. One of the best books I've ever read. Yes, it was that good and more.

July 16, 2015

And now tell me I am the problem in this system

Today is one of those days.

You know what? I am tired. I am so tired. The bone tired, that sleep cannot fix. Cause believe me, I sleep as much (and too much) as I can.

June 28, 2015

Things we know by heart by Jessi Kirby Review

Things we know by heart 
by Jessi Kirby
Published on April 21st 2015
HaperTeen, 304 pages

When Quinn Sullivan meets the recipient of her boyfriend’s donated heart, the two form an unexpected connection.

After Quinn loses her boyfriend, Trent, in an accident their junior year, she reaches out to the recipients of his donated organs in hopes of picking up the pieces of her now-unrecognizable life. She hears back from some of them, but the person who received Trent’s heart has remained silent. The essence of a person, she has always believed, is in the heart. If she finds Trent’s, then maybe she can have peace once and for all. 

Risking everything in order to finally lay her memories to rest, Quinn goes outside the system to track down nineteen-year-old Colton Thomas—a guy whose life has been forever changed by this priceless gift. But what starts as an accidental run-in quickly develops into more, sparking an undeniable attraction. She doesn't want to give in to it—especially since he has no idea how they're connected—but their time together has made Quinn feel alive again. No matter how hard she’s falling for Colton, each beat of his heart reminds her of all she’s lost…and all that remains at stake.

- Goodreads.com description

Jessi Kirby did it again! Her book, Golden was stunning, and I knew this one will not disappoint one bit. And it didn't! This book is absolutely beautiful. It's real and it's sad, and it deals with letting go, moving on and start living again. I adored this book so much.

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