February 01, 2016

Shh.. do you hear it? The silence? It's the sound of my shattered dreams.

Why know what? I am so tired.

And to clarify, I am not tired of living. I am so tired of being. 

I am tired of being let down. 

I applied for this EU Commission internship in Brussels and I thought this was going to be the best thing ever (just after my Masters). And I got preselected! And I got called from 3 different DGs, and I got so freaking excited that I can't even. And then nothing. Like, nothing. And more nothing. And then in mid January an email, saying wooops you did not get it. And, I was like, well ok, will try again for next year, and I will have to put some other/next plan into motion. And, then on Friday I get a call. More like, THE call. It's them! And then ask me for the internship and they are interested, and if I am interested, and everything turns out great, and we both agree to collaborate, and things are awesome. More than awesome. Oh my god, finally all that - blood and sweat and horrible things that I've been through, and all the hard work, and all the keep trying - make sense. Everything was so worth it, cause look, I am here! I've made it!

And then Monday come around, and everything crashes. Literally crashes. It was the afternoon and I get an email (THE email) which was supposed to be the official offer, and look - it's a rejection. First I am like, uh what the hell just happened? This is not happening. WE agreed. We both did. They said I had it. It was mine! And, suddenly it isn't. No explanation whatsoever. Great, thank you.

Why do people do that?! You think it's funny? 'Cause let me tell you; It. Is. Not. 

It seems like a pattern with guys. After you tell them you think things seriously. Oh yeah, I like you, sure lets meet tomorrow, yeah I would love to go for a coffee to get to know you better, sure I look for the same things. And then they disappear from the face of the earth. And, when you ask them if they are dead, they don't even reply straight away. You keep trying, and then after 2-3 days they are like "oh, sorry, had a horrible break up and still recovering" or nothing really. What the fuck is wrong with people?! Do I look like I read minds?! I have a Masters in Psychology, but I don't read minds. And to be honest if I could read minds, I would get paid for it, and not use it for this kind of bullshit. If we are honest, we are honest. And do not tell me "I was drunk" - you are never that drunk, unless you are doing charity, and believe me, I don't need that. Honestly.

People please, stop. Just stop. Getting a person's hopes up, and then let them down is never ok. Never. If you didn't know that, well, I am letting you know now; it's never ok to let people down. 

'Cause seriously, me and all the rest of the world would rather have it that you don't say anything. Anything at all. Anything really, rather than that. Because really, with all the toys in the world, people shouldn't play with people's emotions. That is not ok.

World, how strong do you think we are? How many times do you think you can break us before we won't be able to stand up again? 

Tomorrow is going to be a better day. Fingers crossed.



January 09, 2016

Licked by Brooke Blaine Review

Licked
L.A. Liaisons #1
by Brooke Blaine
Published on November 10th 2015
Brooke Blaine, 227 pages

As the owner of Licked, an eclectic ice creamery and bar, Ryleigh Phillips doesn't have time for that love stuff. Serving up Nibble My Nuts sundaes and Drunken Sailor boozy shakes are as close to an orgasmic affair as she's had in months thanks to her expanding empire—until the night of her ten-year high school reunion. 

When Ryleigh's crush, gorgeous ex-football god Cameron Mathis, comes streaking into her life (literally—streaking), she begins to wonder if she really can have it all. 

Wouldn't it just figure that the moment you think life is perfect is when it falls spectacularly apart? 

Enter Hunter Morgan, the contractor in charge of Licked's renovations. Devastatingly handsome, and a smartass to boot, he's got his eyes on Ryleigh from the moment he finds her passed out on his couch (yeah, that's a long story). There's just one tiny complication—he happens to be Cameron's best friend. 

When the lines between relationships and friendships blur, and it's impossible to choose between two delicious flavors, what's a girl to do? Taste a sample of each? Or go out and get LICKED?

- Goodreads.com description
I was starting to think that my reading mojo was gone. I haven't read any book since Christmas, and booh. No clue what happened. Then I picked up this book few days ago and thought to myself, I will read few chapters and go to sleep. I ended up reading more than half of the book till 5am in the morning. I missed this feeling!

Reading Licked was exciting! I could feel the excitement in my belly, and oh the butterflies! Pure-awesomeness. 

December 31, 2015

Best Books I’ve Read in 2015

Every end of the year I try to sum up the things that happened that year, and the best books I've read. This year I will combine it a little.
I will start with the most important, and best thing I ever did. I graduated from Edinburgh Uni, and I got my Master degree in Psychology of Individual Differences. I've spent most of the first part of the year doing my experiment, and writing my Master dissertation. It was hard work.

I also lived in Denmark for 4 months in the Fall, where I did a Folk high school. I had a blast, and I learned German, and finally started learning French. I also learn many other things, like current affairs, music,  some society and politics. 

I travelled a lot - I visited Paris in June (super awesome, I loved it!), Hamburg in September, Brussels and Amsterdam in October, Flensburg and Copenhagen in November, and a road trip (I always wanted to go for a road trip!) from Denmark to Slovenia on which I visited Hamburg, Hannover, Nürnberg, München, and Salzburg. It was a great year for travelling! 
Back to books! This year was also a great year for reading. In the past two years I did not have much time to read, because work and Uni. But this year I made an attempt to fix this. Reading makes me happy, and lowers my levels of stress. And I am not gonna lie to you, it was quite stressful. But nonetheless, I finished my reading challenge! What I also managed to finish are some of my favourite series that have been with me for years now, like the Lux series, the Covenant series, the Darkest Minds series, and the Article 5 series. I'm gonna miss some of my favourite characters ever!
And here are my Top 10 books I've read in 2015:

pic name pic name pic name pic name pic name
pic name pic name pic name pic name pic name
In no particular order;
Wild by Sophie Jordan
The Deal by Elle Kennedy
Legend by Marie Lu
Again the Magic by Lisa Kleypas
Sweet Filthy Boy by Christina Lauren
Saving Francesca by Melina Marchetta
Things We Know by Heart by Jessi Kirby
It Happened One Autumn by Lisa Kleypas
I'll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson
Overall, it has been a great year! I accomplished one of my major life goals, I travelled a lot, and I have read so many great books! I am excited, and looking forward to 2016! 

With all the best wishes,



December 19, 2015

Højskolen Cronicles #4

These are the nights that never die.

And our adventure is coming to an end. 

It's a bit bittersweet. 

If I look back at it, I must say we had a great time. Sure, there were some things that annoyed me to no end (which you can read here, and here), but overall we had a blast! Especially at the and after the Study trip!

At the beginning it was a bit hard to get used to live with another 41 people. Feels like an extended school trip when we were 12 - only it lasts 4 months, and you are not 12. I am not gonna lie here, these were 4 long months. 

Living in a school filled with people from all over Europe is a challenge. You know, all the different cultures, and people being used to do certain things in a certain way. Although I will say, the biggest group, the majority, was the harder to get used to. Danish people are quite loud, most of them stick with each other, and constantly speak only Danish. 

But after the trip, I got the feeling that we really connected with each other. We started to hang out a lot more, and we kind of let go of people who did not make an effort to hang out with us. I was less stressed after that. Everything was finally in its place.

I really feel that this was a great experience. I've never attended a boarding school, but this was fun. I only wish it wouldn't have taken us so long to become friends with each other. Cause now we are having the time of our lives. These, really, are the nights that never die.

And, I have learnt some. My German has improved from barely there to omg I am actually good at it. I have finally started learning French, which has been a dream of mine for a while now.I have learnt about some interesting things about art, about Nazi time, about current affairs happening in Europe. I also sang a lot - all about Danish culture. I was writing for school newspaper. Singing for breakfast is not as bad as it sounds. Its fun. Philosophy, body and mind, creative kitchen all have thought me some things. Things I will remember cause I am gonna need them in life.

At the end of the day I do feel a little sad, because I am really gonna miss this school. I am gonna miss living here with all these people, eating together with 50 people everyday, having a roomie, going at the bar 20 meters from your room, having classes all day long, the best Friday nights. I am gonna miss the friends that I've made here. These are good people. And exceptionally good at partying. Those were the nights. In Tækkers bar every Thursday. In Makke bar every Friday. And everything in between. 

Life is so good, you know?

So I would like to say to everyone that was with me on this 4-months-højskolen-adventure, thank you, and for most of you I am happy that I've meet you. 



As for you my lovely reader, if you have a spare 4 months in the very near future (end of January begins) or just want some change, or some time out, or simply a pure desire to go to folk school - I would highly advise you to go on this course. I pretty much summarized in this last entry how the life at højskolen looks like. And please, age is only a number. :P 

It was the best money that I've ever spent for 4 months 'vacation', and that's because it wasn't really vacation. You actually have to attend classes and learn things. The fact that there a no exams does not exclude the fact that you have to attend classes. But it's a lot of fun, great atmosphere, lots of new things to learn, and a great life experience.

Either way, I am really glad I made the decision to attend Højskolen østersøen - it is a valuable experience in life to have.

For more information about Højskolen: Facebook - Hojoster website



December 17, 2015

The DUFF: Designated Ugly Fat Friend by Kody Keplinger Review

The DUFF: Designated Ugly Fat Friend
by Kody Keplinger
Published on September 7th 2010
Little Brown/Poppy, 280 pages


Seventeen-year-old Bianca Piper is cynical and loyal, and she doesn’t think she’s the prettiest of her friends by a long shot. She’s also way too smart to fall for the charms of man-slut and slimy school hottie Wesley Rush. In fact, Bianca hates him. And when he nicknames her “the Duff,” she throws her Coke in his face. 

But things aren’t so great at home right now, and Bianca is desperate for a distraction. She ends up kissing Wesley. Worse, she likes it. Eager for escape, Bianca throws herself into a closeted enemies-with-benefits relationship with him.

Until it all goes horribly awry. It turns out Wesley isn’t such a bad listener, and his life is pretty screwed up, too. Suddenly Bianca realizes with absolute horror that she’s falling for the guy she thought she hated more than anyone.

- Goodreads.com description
“I was the Duff. And that was a good thing. Because anyone 
who didn't feel like the Duff must not have friends. 
Every girl feels unattractive sometimes. Why had it 
taken me so long to figure that out? Why had I been 
stressing over that dumb word for so long when it 
was so simple? I should be proud to be the Duff. 
Proud to have great friends who, in their minds, 
were my Duffs.” 

This is a YA book, and I've been meaning to read it for a while now, like years. And even though I've been having some troubles with YA these days (man, I am getting old!), I am happy to say that this was not the case. 

The DUFF was an excellent read, with real life struggles, a believable main character, and with realistic dramatic events. I loved this book so much!

December 12, 2015

Let's Get Lost by Adi Alsaid Review

Let's Get Lost
by Adi Alsaid
Published on July 29th 2014
Harlequin Teen, 338 pages


Five strangers. Countless adventures. One epic way to get lost. 

Four teens across the country have only one thing in common: a girl named Leila. She crashes into their lives in her absurdly red car at the moment they need someone the most. 

Hudson, Bree, Elliot and Sonia find a friend in Leila. And when Leila leaves them, their lives are forever changed. But it is during Leila's own 4,268-mile journey that she discovers the most important truth—sometimes, what you need most is right where you started. And maybe the only way to find what you're looking for is to get lost along the way.

- Goodreads.com description

“Well, everyone needs at least one long road trip in their lives.” 

Wow. This book was definitely different. I mean, five characters altogether? And made up to be meaningful? Quite awesome.

November 26, 2015

She turned her can'ts into cans, and dreams into plans.

Today was the best day of my life!


Today, 26. 11. 2015, was the day of my graduation! Not only did I make it to Edinburgh University after all the struggles that I faced, kept going between work and exams and lectures and stress and life, I also finished! I did it. 

It was a beautiful day. Sunny, which does not happen often in Scotland. 

My mom, and my sister came to Scotland for my graduation too. And I had my friends with me. And I was wearing this amazing royal blue dress ala Blair Waldorf style. Life is so good! Since I got the results on the beginning of the month of November, I just couldn't contain my happiness. I did it. Life is so good. I invested, and worked for my education, and I came out as a winner! I did it. Sometimes I still struggled with accepting this, but there was really no struggle left after this day.

I walked up the stage, and in that moment it hit me that I might have been a bit nervous. And, then they called my name and everything was a haze. Really. I swear I didn't even feel the hit with the ancient hat! But the woman in that moment said "Congratulations Nea" and I was all of a sudden back in the moment. Grounded. Woah. And, I said "Thank you" and I meant it. I had another 6 meters to walk, and in the middle of it I stopped. I turned around to look at my mom, and I suddenly saw all these people. The entire hall full of people. And that was the moment it actually hit me. I did it. I did it. Me. It's mine and noone will ever be able to take this away from me. And, I opened my mouth and what it came out was a loud "Mom, I did it!" I waved (aimed as Kate Middleton style, came out as an overly excited wave) and left the stage. It was exhilarating. 


The final speech was really nice. They told us that now we are equipped with knowledge, and we are going to go in the world and make great things. That, we are going to shape the future of society. Future leaders of the world. Wow, in that moment I almost cried. Cause everything I did in life led me to that moment. All the sleepless nights, all the struggling, all the alcohol, all the drama, all the tears, all the sweat, all the blood, the counselling sessions, all the time and money - was fucking worth it. I am so proud of myself. And, maybe for the first time ever, I felt I deserved it. 


Thank you so much to all my friends, and family who supported me on this long journey. And, a big thank you to my blog (for all the emotional outbursts that I had a place to express), and my followers, who followed me and cheered for me on this path. Thank you.



November 15, 2015

I'll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson Review

I'll Give You the Sun
by Jandy Nelson
Published on September 16th 2014
Dial Books, 371 pages

A brilliant, luminous story of first love, family, loss, and betrayal for fans of John Green, David Levithan, and Rainbow Rowell.

Jude and her twin brother, Noah, are incredibly close. At thirteen, isolated Noah draws constantly and is falling in love with the charismatic boy next door, while daredevil Jude cliff-dives and wears red-red lipstick and does the talking for both of them. But three years later, Jude and Noah are barely speaking. Something has happened to wreck the twins in different and dramatic ways . . . until Jude meets a cocky, broken, beautiful boy, as well as someone else—an even more unpredictable new force in her life. The early years are Noah's story to tell. The later years are Jude's. What the twins don't realize is that they each have only half the story, and if they could just find their way back to one another, they’d have a chance to remake their world.

This radiant novel from the acclaimed, award-winning author of The Sky Is Everywhere will leave you breathless and teary and laughing—often all at once.


Goodreads.com description

“Reality is crushing. The world is a wrong-sized shoe. 
How can anyone stand it?”

Sadly I never wrote a review about it, but let me tell you that The Sky Is Everywhere, is one of the most beautiful books ever written. Jandy Nelson builds up her books with such beautiful writing is astonishing, really. And always, always about very important and tragic things that could happen to any of us.
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