March 09, 2012

The Power of Extraordinary Moments: What Is Love?

The orginal article can be found on this page.



Is love an addiction? Are all relationships addictive? This article explores how all healthy relationships include at least one addictive moment and how, in unhealthy relationships, this one moment is often the basis for the whole relationship. You can check the first part of the article here: Is It Love?

What Is Love?

So what is "love?"
For me to even try to answer is total arrogance. Even so, we can't even begin to talk about love if we don't first at least find a starting point from which to talk.
So what is love? My starting point answer is, "Love is seeing the beauty in anything and in anyone."
"But can't you love someone who is ugly?," people ask.
No. No one you love will ever be ugly. This is just not possible. Although your friends might not see what you see in her or him. So perhaps, this person whom you see so much beauty in is not the typical beauty queen type or the movie star leading man. Even so, to you, this person will be beautiful. Why? Because this is what falling in love allows us to see. We get to see what I imagine the Creator of Life sees in each of us; the beauty in every one of us, even in the worst of us.

Why can't we all see this beauty?
Well, we're just not capable of this much love. Perhaps people like the Dalai Lama are. In fact, I imagine he is. But I'm not. And you're not.
What we are capable of though is seeing the beauty in a few people at a time, mostly in one person at a time. Which is why we artificially divide "love" into categories of love, like the "romantic" kind and the "love your child" kind.
Are there differences?
Obviously. Still, the one thing all love has in common is, we suddenly realize the beauty in something or in someone, and once realized, we can picture this beautiful moment forever.

What about when you have no feeling for someone though. Haven't you fallen out of love?
In a sense, yes, and I'll talk more about this loss later. What does not go away, though, is the original beautiful exciting event. This experience stays in us forever, at least as long as we're alive. The romantic in me says even longer. Whatever the case, once love comes, it's in you.
Many would now ask me to prove this. Rightfully so.
You can, to yourself at least. Simply picture the first time you saw this person where you saw the person in a good light and couldn't believe what you saw. If you do this, what you'll see is, you can still see this falling in love moment.
What if you still can't?
Then I'd ask you how it feels to be asked to do this. If you're open and consciously trying, you will be able to do it. If you're angry and hate this person, then your hate will block your view. Likewise, if you think back to your first love, no matter how many years have passed, you will still be able to see, and feel, the original moment. However, if this person really let you down or mistreated you or wounded you, then you may not be able to bring the original moment to mind. None the less, this does not mean it is not there. It means simply that something in you is blocking your view.
The point still is, love is a single moment of clarity which never ceases to amaze, given you can picture this moment. And if you can't, then it's simply a matter of this moment being inaccessible, not missing.
As for this being a definition, I told you at the beginning I couldn't really define love. Beyond this defining moment, that is.
Uh huh, so in the previous part we already agreed about "the moment". Seeing the beauty. Yeah so totally :D haha. All my previous experiences are telling me to go against love and falling in love. When someone hurts you, well, when many hurt you, of course you don't want to fall again.  Empirical proof and shity stuff like that? :P You get what I mean?
But no matter what, yes even if I hate my ex-boyfriend and god knows, I would override him if I see him when I am in my car (no pun intended), I can still picture that perfect moment. Ah. And that sucks.

I guess for this weeks question, I am no good :P I do believe in love, I do. But I do for others, not for me :P You know, people use to become more confident more good when they are in a relationship. I do the opposite.. I become less self confident and quite plain boring. It sucks. I still need to find a guy who [I'll take Sophie's quote from Demonglass(Hex Hall#2) for this]:

"But all of it: joking with him and working beside him. Being with a guy who was my friend and could still make me feel like this."

So, all you believers in love out there, what do you think about this? :)



2 comments :

Mimi Valentine said...

Oh, Nea! Have I ever told you how much I love these posts of yours? They're so thoughtful! <3 :)

I'm a hopeless romantic; there's no other way to define me. But like you, I'm a romantic more for everyone else than I am for me! x) I definitely believe that love exists, but I think that I'd rather have some awesome guy friends rather than boyfriends because I find I'm more comfortable around them. (I tend to become a little less confident and crazy-fun in a relationship too LOL!) x)

But that Sophie quote = <33 Love this post, Nea!! :)

Sam said...

I agree with Mimi! This is a great post, Nea! I loved reading it. :)

The fact that nearly all the books I choose to read have some romance in them, pretty much tells you how obsessed I am with romantic ideas. I definitely believe in love. ;)

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