You know, I've been wondering.. is there a place on this earth where there are people who still have values, there is no consumer-capitalism, and people just don't use each other? If you know about it, please point me the way. I really want to go there.
I've been analyzing interpersonal relationships for a while now, and you'd think I can't be surprised anymore by anything, but god, you are wrong. It always knocks me flat on my butt and all I can think is "these things are really happening?"
Dating. I've never been much of a dater, but I always liked the idea of it. Get to know better the people we are attracted to before we jump to bed. Or in a relationship. Because it's somehow easier to know in what kind of thing you are getting yourself into. You actually know the person. Or so I thought.
Dating is mating - today. Shocking. I mean, what? If I go on a date with a guy, that doesn't necessarily mean I have to sleep with him. Where did the kiss goodnight go? And holding hands? I always thought things will get easier when I'll get older, but I was wrong about that too. Things got a hell of a lot more complicated. Or the times has changed.
Sex got so easily accessible, that it has lost its value almost completely these days.
And quite honestly I am so tired of it. I see guys around every night trying to get some, and actually getting it. And the next day again with someone else. And someone else. Consumed with the need "get high". With random people. Call me old-fashioned but this thing does affect the interpersonal relations ans the results are in my opinion catastrophic. I will use an awesome quote from Bared to you by Sylvia Day for this case:
"Why even call it a fuck? Why not be clear and call it a
seminal emission in a pre-approved orifice?"
Exactly my point.
Rare people want to actually commit. If you ask around 20-something people, they will all say "I don't do relationships. I don't do commitment. I don't -insert here whatever- relationship." Too much work? Too much effort? We are all so scared to commit but on the other hand we crave the closeness of another human being.
And the consumer-capitalism isn't helping the case either. Health, sex, beauty,... Everything today has become so easily accessible, that noone wants to put even a little effort for anything anymore. And I hate it.
And where is the love? The true one. Not the "I love you because of the sum of the positive attributes that you have" one. Because this isn't love. You go to the supermarket and you buy the washing powder that has the sum of the positive attributes that will make your clothes clean and smell nice. And you don't love the washing powder. It's not love, it's using.
I am so tired of society today. It's exhausting. I am exhausted. When I tell my mother that I think in her twenties things were easier, she tells me that they weren't that easier. But I think they were. People were happy. They cared for each other, and most of all, they respected each other. They may had a little less than we have today, but really, where did all the informations, technology, and money get us? To a collapse of values and destruction of interpersonal relations.
There is a great research called The demise of guys that Philip G. Zimbardo, PhD, has done. He talked about it on 2013 APA annual convention. I suggest you to watch it. It's a good one.
Anyway, this is my general opinion about society today. Don't take it personally.